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May 20, 2013

Reinventing You

Filed under: Blog,Book Reviews,Careers,Entrepreneurship,Personal Development — Tags: Dorie Clark, Harvard Business Review Press — Michael @ 11:39 am
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“What do people think of you? What do they say when you leave the room?” Maybe you don’t think you have a brand. Hopefully you don’t think that. As Dorie Clark demonstrates in her new book, Reinventing You, taking control of your professional future hinges on your acceptance and understanding of your current brand, and your ability to take control of where that brand is going.

OK—we can call it a reputation, if that makes you feel better. As Clark points out early on, we simply can’t afford to disregard the impact that our personal brand has on our success.

The idea that you can just keep your head down and work without any regard to office politics, for instance, has been thoroughly discredited.

Some might perceive a keen interest in one’s own reputation as tacky, but so what? If ‘too cool to care’ is your M.O., you might be risking your professional future. Even further, a lack of concern for your public image is a red flag to your manager—future or current—and if you’re a freelancer, it’s a warning to your potential clients. Companies and managers want to work with people on whom they can rely to be not only effective on the job, but also friendly and conscientious. If you’re not actively engaging your bosses (i.e. maintaining your brand), you’re risking being forgotten, or worse.

Reinventing You is a step-by-step manual for actively steering your career. The beginning is an assessment. Clark provides strategies for discovering the reality of your current brand, so that you can get an idea of what needs to change. This includes asking friends and colleagues to participate in focus groups, as well as using data from past performance reviews from employers. Especially if you’ve never done an assessment of your brand, you will learn a lot. One important thing to remember is that others’ perception of you is effectively reality. Whether you agree with the results of your assessment or not, it’s important that you take them seriously and use those results as your starting point.

After you have some idea how you look to the public, you’re ready to take aim on your destination and try your hand at living your future. Clark advises trying the work you’re interested in. It might not be easy to land your new dream job right off the bat, but you can get started on your new path by volunteering or shadowing in your target field. As Clark says:

To avoid costly mistakes—and wasting your energy—you can take a short-term test-drive.

This experience is often unpaid, but the most important part has already been stated: experience. It’s out there if you want it.

Throughout the rest of the book, Clark walks us through essentials like key skill development, finding a mentor, and one of my favorite topics, leveraging your points of difference. As a ‘jack-of-all-trades’ myself, I love bringing the crucial ‘outsider perspective’ to a project. In the current market, your diverse background is much more likely to be a benefit than a drawback. Clark demonstrates the benefits of transferable skills and your unique identity, and the importance of analyzing your skills through the lens of the current marketplace. Skills you’ve had and valued for a decade might no longer be valued, while other skills you perhaps have taken for granted might be more highly-valued than you thought. Don’t miss the value you bring to the job.

Your reinvention won’t be as simple as point A to point B. In fact, it’s almost certainly going to be hard work, and it doesn’t stop once you land that new job. Wherever you are going, Reinventing You will help you map your path and arrive to a newly-defined you with the skills and image to make your new career a success. The book even contains a self-assessment, re-cap questions at the end of each chapter, and group discussion questions at the back of the book. Start by reminding yourself that your future is too important to be left up to chance; then open Reinventing You and get started.

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October 12, 2012

The Glass Elevator: An Interview With Ora Shtull

Filed under: Audio,Blog,Careers,Interviews,KnowledgeBlocks,Leadership — Michael @ 12:35 pm
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Ora Shtull is an Executive Coach and the author of The Glass Elevator: A Guide to Leadership Presence for Women on the Rise. In both her work as a coach and in her book, Ora encourages a complete approach to success, focusing on both professional and personal elements. Ora has developed a model for identifying and developing behaviors that help her clients influence, engage, and connect with the people around them. She has served as Adjunct Professor of Business Communication at NYU’s Stern School of Business, and in 2011 she won British Airways’ Face of Opportunity contest.

Earlier this week Ora took a few minutes to chat with me about some of the key concepts from The Glass Elevator. Click the play button below to listen to the interview. Here are some of the questions I had for Ora:

If not for a glass ceiling, why is it that women seem to stagnate professionally? And how is The Glass Elevator a different path to success?

In the Glass Elevator, you offer up 9 proven skills to help women achieve. Could you tell us about  1 or 2 of the most important skills to help ignite success?

There are a number of different similes referring to glass that are used to describe the challenges women face in the workplace–glass elevator, glass escalator (men moving up past the women who hired them), glass cliff (women being promoted–and basically being sacrificed–during times of organizational chaos.) Do you believe that these barriers exist or does boarding “the glass elevator” remove those challengers?

In your book, you clearly are not advising women to become more like men in order to succeed. Instead, you seem to be encouraging women to use more of their inherent talents, such as Empathize, which is usually considered a female trait, and not often as valued as, for example, being objective or detached, which is generally a more masculine trait. How does empathy help women improve?

Also in your book, you tackle some very basic life-skills concerns: food, diet, sleep. Why did you decide to include these topics in your book?

What is the one takeaway you’d like to leave with listeners today?

Play the interview below

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Thanks to Ora for taking the time to talk to me. Visit Ora online. She’s also recently done a stint as Thinker in Residence over on our KnowledgeBlocks.

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September 14, 2012

Jack Covert Selects – So Good They Can’t Ignore You

Filed under: Careers,Jack Covert Selects — 800-CEO-READ @ 10:12 am
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So Good They Can’t Ignore You: When Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love by Cal Newport, BusinessPlus, 304 pages, $25.99, Hardcover, September 2012, ISBN 9781455509126

I have a dear friend that has worked in the arts community for decades tell me recently that what strikes him most about great artists is not their passion, but their “toughness.” I was reminded of that statement again when I picked up So Good They Can’t Ignore You, a great new book on career development by Cal Newport being released this month by BusinessPlus.

Newport, as a postdoctoral associate at MIT on his way to a life in academia (after having already graduated with a PhD in computer science from the same program), set out to answer a question. Most technologists at this point would begin with a technical question to investigate, but Newport’s search revolved around a very simple, very human question—a question he became obsessed with: How do people end up loving what they do? And he discovered that the prevailing wisdom on the topic—“follow your passion”—is terrible advice.

Newport points to the work of a professor of organizational behavior at Yale University, Amy Wrzesniewski, who surveyed people in the work force to determine which type of work people refer to as a job (a way to pay the bills), which is a career (a path toward increasingly better work), and which becomes a calling (work that’s an important part of your life and a vital part of your identity).

In Wrzesniewski’s research, the happiest, most passionate employees were not those who followed their passion into a position, but instead those that who have been around long enough to become good at what they do.

Newport presents a very helpful distinction between the craftsman mindset, “a focus on what value you’re producing in your job,” and the passion mindset, “a focus on what value your job offers you.” He argues that “regardless of how you feel about your job right now, adopting a craftsman mindset will be the foundation on which you’ll build a compelling career,” and counsels readers to move their “focus away from finding the right work and toward working right,” to eventually build a love for what they do. Newport is not anti-passion so much as he’s passion-agnostic, believing passion “is an epiphenomenon of a working life well lived.”

It seems that everyone wants to change the world these days, and that’s commendable. But perhaps the best way to do so is by becoming really good at what you do—so good that they can’t ignore you—and building from there.

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May 21, 2012

KnowledgeBlocks

Filed under: Ask 8cr!,Big Ideas,Book Reviews,Careers,Entrepreneurship,General Business,General Management,InBubbleWrap,Innovation,Internet,Leadership,Personal Development,Publishing Industry,Small Business,Technology,The Company,Thought Leaders,Training and Development — 800-CEO-READ @ 3:34 pm
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We’re very pleased to announce the official opening of KnowledgeBlocks, a subscription-based service and online resource that gives readers access to quality content and business resources, a way to save, organize, and customize the information that is important to them, and engages business authors and thought leaders to help solve business problems and build new knowledge.

Among the key features of the site, subscribers have access to the following:

  • Explorations: Every month we publish three business book explorations that examine a narrow subject within a broader business topic. Each begins with a featured book and then branches out in unexpected directions, introducing you to author insights via podcast or interview, other related must-reads, curated links, and brief analyses that will help you build your business knowledge.

  • Thinkers-in-Residence: This key feature of the site offers authors the opportunity to connect directly to a dedicated audience via webinar and a stand-alone page of author-contributed material such as Q&As, blocks, and featured books.
  • Giveaways: Continuing the weekly book giveaway tradition of our inBubbleWrap program, we will put the latest releases in the hands of a smart, dedicated, interested and influential business audience.

The site is being administered and curated by the immensely talented and capable Sally Haldorson, who has been with the company for 14 years and was the editor of The 100 Best Business Books of All Time, giving her a wealth of knowledge on the business genre that is hard to top.

We hope to see you over there.

 

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November 18, 2011

Desperate Times, Different Measures

Filed under: Book Reviews,Careers — Sally @ 1:42 pm
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Of course the saying goes, “Desperate times call for desperate measures.” With our depressed economy, it can certainly seem like desperate times filled with risk on a daily basis. Perhaps you wake up in the middle of the night remembering a deadline that passed without you noticing just a few hours before, and you suddenly worry that one mistake might be the last straw. Or you rehearse a pitch for a raise over and over in your head, worried that even the most valid argument might seem greedy at this time. Perhaps when the alarm goes off and starts your day, you feel a little more on edge than you ever recall feeling about a regular day on the job. We tell ourselves not to worry. And we tell ourselves that we are lucky to have a job when we have one, and maybe shouldn’t complain. And we tell ourselves that things will get better. So for the most part, we don’t so much act in the face of this uncertainty; instead, we sit quietly and hope desperation passes us by.

Yet, there is one thing that we can control: our performance. So perhaps desperate times call for different measures. And there are two books that we can recommend to help you do that: Joel Garfinkle’s new Getting Ahead: Three Steps to Take Your Career to the Next Level by Joel A. Garfinkle and Jodi Glickman’s Great on the Job: What to Say, How to Say It, the Secrets of Getting Ahead.

Garfinkle divides Getting Ahead into three sections enumerating the “[t]hree significant and important aspects of leadership–perception, visibility, and influence.”

1) Improve Your Perception–Take Control of How Others See You addresses
2) Increase Your Visibility–Stand Out and Get Noticed by the People Who Matter Most
3) Exert Your Influence–Lead Situations, People, and Events

The advice is practical, from his Four-Step Perception Management Process…

Step 1 – How you think you are perceived.
Step 2 – How you actually are perceived.
Step 3 – How you want to be perceived.
Step 4 – How you change that perception.

to his Seven Ways to Gain Visibility…

1. Seek out projects.
2. Leverage you manager.
3. Gain face time with top executives.
4. Find cross-departmental opportunities.
5. Become involved outside your job.
6. Speak up share.
7. Become known and recognized.

All manageable changes to your regular work routine that will aid you in getting ahead. To close the book, Garfinkle presents a quick chapter on “The PVI Model in Action,” relating the story of Ken Kutaragi, the creator of the Sony Playstation, who had earlier had his dreams and reputation crushed when Nintendo partnered with Phillips rather than Sony to create its first game system. This short anecdote does an excellent job of showing how you can turn your fortunes around.

Jodi Glickman’s Great on the Job advertises itself as a “people skills primer” focusing on ways you can sharpen your communication skills in order to better succeed in the workplace. Why this focus? Because, Glickman says, the basics of interpersonal communication aren’t something being taught in any B-school or crash course. She “launched the consulting firm Great on the Job to meet an unmet and, as of then, unidentified need in the marketplace: to teach people to talk to one another at work, every day, in every situation, in all stages of their careers, whether they are on the top of their game or have no idea what the #$% is going on.”

She presents a methodology that, she says, “takes a ‘soft’ skill and turns it into a ‘hard’ or technical skill.” The book overall is a series of conversations that Glickman then breaks down using the following series of steps:

1. Situational Analysis
2. Action Strategy
3. Example Language
4. Troubleshooting

The four key themes, or high-level concepts, as she calls them, that underlie the more pragmatic material are GIFT, or:

Generosity
Initiative
Forward Momentum
Transparency

Glickman says that when “you start integrating these four concepts into your everyday actions, you’ll find yourself better able to communicate, get people on your side when you need them, and avoid mishaps and miscommunications.” From chapters on how to “Master the Hello and Good-Bye” to developing “Your Personal Elevator Pitch”, Glickman illuminates just how powerful the right words can be.

***

Both books, Getting Ahead and Great on the Job, offer you useable advice on the skills needed to improve your standing at work, and, when your performance improves, so might your security during these desperate times.

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November 14, 2011

Thoughts on “Generation Sell”

Filed under: Careers,Current Events,Finance and Economics,General Business,Innovation — dylan @ 9:09 pm
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“The characteristic art form of our age may be the business plan.”

That quote comes from an intriguing opinion piece called Generation Sell that was published in the New York Times this weekend. It is a piece about a generation just coming of age and today’s youth culture. It really deserves to be read in its entirety, but I think that if one passage can sum up the basic argument of the article, it is this:

Today’s ideal social form is not the commune or the movement or even the individual creator as such; it’s the small business. Every artistic or moral aspiration—music, food, good works, what have you—is expressed in those terms.

Call it Generation Sell.

The piece was written by William Deresiewicz, and there is so much I agree with and so much I disagree with in it—and it’s all wound tightly together in a wonderful and entertaining piece of writing. I’m a member of the generation he’s writing about, “people born between the late ’70s and the mid-’90s, more or less,” so I probably took it more personally than others, more personally indeed than I should, but I do take issue with some of Deresiewicz’s characterizations.

The first issue I ran into was in what I think was an unnecessary or misguided attempt to say something about hip-hop, which has undoubtedly had an affect on the generation and merits mention, but the sentence Deresiewicz offers doesn’t do it justice. After describing the (counter)cultural characteristics of the beatniks, hippies and punks, he briefly offers this:

Hip-hop, punk’s younger brother, was all about rage and nihilism, too, at least until it turned to a vision of individual aggrandizement.

Because that’s all he offers us on the subject, I feel it would have been better to have left it out altogether. Because hip-hop, like jazz or rock-and-roll, shouldn’t be defined as a “youth-culture” in and of itself, but as an art form that influenced youth culture. And while some of its currents may have been “all about rage and nihilism,” it began as party music more predominantly wrapped up in a social conscience and commentary, cultural irreverence, and the urban art forms of dance, painting and poetry. There may have been a decent amount of rage there, but I don’t get the nihilism. To “punk’s younger brother” seems to miss its roots and how it ended up as part of the youth culture he’s critiquing. It would be more accurate to define it as a part of the millennial generation in the way he did with jazz and beatniks, of which he wrote:

Theirs was a culture of jazz, with its spontaneity; … of flight, on the road, to the West; of the quest for the perfect moment.

Something like this might have been more accurate:

Theirs was a culture of hip-hop, with its social conscience and cultural irreverence (and confusion); of finding a voice, of the city street; of the quest for personal invention and aggrandizement.

But, of course, that doesn’t ring true either, because it isn’t a culture defined solely by rap. The generation wasn’t defined by any single movement in music as much as previous generations have been—movements that the major record labels could latch onto and push out into the wider consciousness to become the soundtracks of their generations. I think, if anything, this generation was shaped by the demise of the major labels’ cultural influence, the proliferation of independent labels, and all the noise, cross-pollination, creativity and confusion that has spawned from that. The last real uprising or rebellious “movement” in popular music was the rise of grunge music in the ’90s. Since then, the only movement I can detect is one toward ever smaller, more focused independent labels. It is, as the author rightly notes, a movement to a new business model, and he’s right that “selling out” has largely left our lexicon since then:

It’s striking. Forty years ago, even 20 years ago, a young person’s first thought, or even second or third thought, was certainly not to start a business. That was selling out—an idea that has rather tellingly disappeared from our vocabulary.

But I think there’s a more important reason for that. “Selling out” used to mean that a band was abandoning one of the little labels so many cherished for a major. People were passionate about those labels—Dischord, Matador, Thrill Jockey, Touch & Go, etc.—and a move like that felt like an abandonment of something just on the verge of exploding and choosing a paycheck over principle. “Selling out” was also applied to those who sold a song for use in advertising, a move I don’t think many begrudge bands for anymore due to the paradigm shifts in the music industry. And I think the larger idea that starting a business 20 years ago was considered selling out is a misnomer. I doubt anyone accused Fugazi’s Ian MacKaye of selling out when he started Dischord in 1980, or told Aaron Rose he was selling out when he opened Alleged Gallery in the early ’90s. Selling out would have been signing with a major label or taking a job curating art at the The Met.

And this leads me to a the generalized character at the heart of the article—the “hipster” that the author feels is “a lot more representative [of the Millennial Generation] than most of them care to admit.” The definition is bandied about and applied to many people, but I’m still not sure what exactly a “hipster” is (though perhaps n+1‘s What Was the Hipster could help), and putting it in the same category as the counterculture figures that preceded it seems problematic to me. Beatniks, hippies and punks were all actively participating in larger countercultures, and defined themselves with those movements. The one predominant characteristic of a “hipster” is that nobody self-identifies with it. It’s always a label attached to others, and usually with a heavy dose of derision. As such, it’s not really a counterculture that anybody’s participating in or defining themselves with as much as it’s, if anything, an alternative lifestyle loosely defined. I do agree with the author that this lifestyle and its bohemian values were heavily influenced by the baby boomers and “Bobo in Paradise” parents that David Brooks wrote about a decade ago.

But outside of the skinny pants and fixed gear bicycles, the irony and the vanity, the defining character traits of the so-called “hipster” lifestyle—being young, urban, fashionable, artistic, and entrepreneurial—are mostly seen as positives. And I think the aversion to the label “hipster” is an aversion to labels and definitions in general. This generation hasn’t fully defined itself and doesn’t want to be defined by others—even their peers. Statistically, it’s more likely to switch jobs many times, move to new cities, to freelance, start a business of the their own or work for themselves. I don’t think of this as the end of history of counterculture in any major way, but as the rise of many independent yet interconnected subcultures that are entering the popular culture in a way that mirrors how previous countercultures were absorbed and watered down—except that today’s subcultures seem to be entering it with more artistic and economic control and largely on their own terms.

The characteristic art form of our age is not the business plan; it is do-it-yourself, independent local production, scale and control. Most people I know didn’t start with a business plan and still don’t have one. They started with a vision and are working every day to realize it. They made the decision to strike out on their own and practice their art, craft or trade—and hope people value their vision enough to pay for it. My wife, a self-employed photographer, began Ellagraph Studios. My friend dwellephant is a working artist. My friends Daniel and Maria run Ball & Biscuit, the best catering company in Milwaukee. My neighbors run Orchard Street Press, an eco-friendly printing company. I could go on and on, and wouldn’t be able to find a “hipster” in the bunch—just a lot of hard-working, creative and passionate people.

If I could sum up the generation, it would be with the once annoying labels “indie” or “underground” (which became so annoying simply by virtue of being such ubiquitous labels). The indie rock and the underground dance music and hip-hop that grew up in the ’80s and ’90s dominated the subcultures that we ourselves grew up in, and have since turned into more codified and sustainable (though possibly not very profitable) small business models. That simple yet profound change in how we learn about, purchase and consume (in the best sense of that word) the music that so shaped us during our formative years has fundamentally altered the cultural landscape. The “rockstars” of our generation were closer to us, more accessible, usually a part of our artistic communities. And alongside the independent music sprang up independent labels, music venues, galleries, coffee shops, screen printing operations, skate shops, DIY arts and crafts fairs. The internet then came along and kicked it all into overdrive.

The author says “the hipster ethos contains no element of rebellion, rejection or dissent.” But I think that that is what so defines the generation. It’s a rebellion of production, a commercial rejection and inner dissent. It’s a rejection of corporate principles and a simple consumer choice for the alternative. It’s a generation not fundamentally different in attitude than its predecessors, but in the solutions it offers. The heretics of today saw previous generations’ protests and rebellions crushed in the street, so they rented the abandoned buildings beside it and started trying to build something new inside them. It’s in some ways a return to mom-and-pop capitalism.

Sure, you can call it “generation sell,” but I think “selling” is a dirty word rather deliberately used. It could easily be called “generation create” or “generation present.” It does often seem as if everyone nowadays has something to present, advertise, market or “sell,” but by-and-large I think it was and is being done with good art, the right intention and decent manners. And if one of the results of that shift is that people fault this generation for being polite and pleasant, well… being the affable generation it is, I think they’d be okay with that.

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October 4, 2010

Don’t Quit Your Day Job

Filed under: Big Ideas,Book Reviews,Careers — dylan @ 4:01 pm
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There are a great many (and many great) literary books about work. There are those that search for the deeper meaning of work by interviewing others about the work they do, such as Po Bronson’s What Should I Do with My Life?, Studs Terkel’s Working, and The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work by Alex De Botton. There are wonderful business novels, from Herman Melville’s Bartleby, the Scrivener to Tom Wolfe’s A Man in Full. There are humorous work memoirs such as Dan Kennedy’s Rock On and Iain Levison’s underappreciated A Working Stiff’s Manifesto.There’s even a great literary anthology about business in literature, called Minding the Store: Great Writing about Business, from Tolstoy to Now.

Now there is a book that sits near the intersection of all of those categories. Instead of interviewing workers as others have before him, editor Sonny Brewer asked a collection of southern authors to write stories of what they did before (and as) they made the transition to writing full time. The result is Don’t Quit Your Day Job: Acclaimed Authors and the Day Jobs They Quit. You will probably recognize some of the contributors, like John Grisham (The Rainmaker and A Time to Kill), Winston Groom (Forrest Gump) and Daniel Wallace (Big Fish), and hopefully get to know some of the others—like Tom Franklin (if you don’t already know him), the author of Hell at the Breach, Smonk, and the forthcoming Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter.

George Singleton, author of Why Dogs Chase Cars and Work Shirts for Madmen, begins his wonderfully written story entitled “Refuse” by stating:

I’m pretty sure that my blind headfirst leap into writing fiction occurred for the same reasons it occurred with my brethren: I had discovered some new types of music, I’d been scorned one too many times by a woman, and my summer job involved driving a garbage truck.

In “Tote Monkey,” Josilyn Jackson writes:

I said, “Sure. I will be an office assistant. Why not?”

I know the answer to that now. The job should have been called Paper Tote Monkey. Because that’s what I did. I toted paper. [...]

I learned quickly that since I had flunked out of school, gotten in a fight with God, moved away from all my friends, and was so ashamed that I was desperate to avoid my family, boredom was the worst thing for me. Being a Tote Monkey gave me way too much time to think, and I spent it dwelling on all the ways I’d failed.

Don’t worry… it’s gotten much better for Ms. Jackson. She’s now the New York Times bestselling author of gods in Alabama, Between, Georgia, The Girl Who Stopped Swimming and Backseat Saints.

Some people work to satisfy their creative urges outside of their day job; Their are poets in our factories, painters in our corn fields and short story writers in our used-car lots. Being a garbage man or an office assistant is honorable, and is fulfilling work if approached right. But Don’t Quit Your Day Job reinforces that sometimes you have to (quit your day job), that there’s also honor in pursuing your passion as your career. And, hey, sometimes it even works out.

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August 4, 2010

The Corporate Lattice

Filed under: Blog,Careers — Jon @ 8:59 am
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As a follow up to her book Mass Career Customization, Cathleen Benko and Molly Anderson have teamed up to present The Corporate Lattice: Achieving High Performance in the Changing World of Work.

As outlined in MCC, the world of work is changing, not only for companies, but also for individuals: personal values, diversity, and skills are being viewed differently than they once were, and it’s changing the structure of people’s lives. Because of these factors, more people aren’t necessarily “climbing the ladder” like they once were. They’re working from home and available 24/7 (as opposed to 9 to 5), they’re looking for challenges, and they want to learn new things. Thus, the old corporate model also needs to adjust, and The Corporate Lattice provides the framework to make changes.

As Shelly Lazarus, Chairman, Ogilvy & Mather, states on the back cover: “Anyone responsible for driving results should read this book.” It’s true. Whether you’re an employee, looking for ways to advance your skill set and achieve more, read this book. Or, if you’re a manager and want more from your team, read this book. For both, it’s a clear guide on how to find, or provide, an environment that builds engagement – and that engagement provides both sides a wealth of value.

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March 1, 2010

Create Your Job

Filed under: Blog,Careers — Jon @ 6:00 am
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Career coach Nancy Anderson had released the inspiring book Work With Passion: How To Do What You Love For a Living, and is now set to launch her newest book that addresses those looking for work with an even greater wealth of experience behind them. Titled, Work With Passion in Midlife and Beyond.

To get an idea of the approach of either of these books, here’s a blurb from a recent essay written by Anderson, where she talks about a conversation between her and a client:

“When I met Charles he spent most of his time going to networking meetings, and surfing job sites on the Internet. He would get excited about a referral or posting and send in his resume, and then get disappointed when there was no response. It did not occur to him that what he wanted to do for a living was not advertised, and that he would need to create the job that matched his values.
“What do you mean, create the job? “ Charles asked worriedly.

“If you try to fit yourself into a job that’s already defined you will only repeat the past,” I said. “You need to think about what is important to you at this stage of life, the problems you can and like to solve. Then connect with the people who have those problems. In other words, think like an entrepreneur, not a job hunter.””

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February 17, 2010

Treat Who Like a Customer?

Filed under: Careers,Communication,Misc. — dylan @ 4:54 pm
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Jack asked me to take a look at a book recently that, I must admit, I was a bit skeptical about at first. For a number of different reasons, a book of marriage advice (geared mostly toward successful men) entitled Treat Me Like a Customer seems like a dicey proposition, especially so if it’s being released by a Christian publisher. Zondervan seems to have pulled it off, though, with Louis Upkins’ book of sage advice on building and, when need be, repairing the relationships with those closest to us.

The idea for, and title of, the book stems from the story of a successful friend and colleague of Upkins who turned to him for help developing a life plan.

“The truth is, Louis, we’re just making it up as we go along,” he replied when I expressed surprise at his request. “In fact, I’m going to call my wife right now and ask about our life plan,” and the next thing I knew he had dialed his wife and put her on the speakerphone.

[...]

Later, he told me that when he got home that night, his wife seemed a little annoyed at his phone call. He was tired and wanted to get comfortable, so he gave her all the signals that he wanted to be left alone. That’s when she greeted him with these words “Harold, just suck it up and treat me like one of your customers.”

Upkins describes this advice, which he admits “may seem simplistic or even offensive” as a “revelation” to him. Successful business people generally know how to form successful business relationships. They just don’t always apply that talent elsewhere. What Upkins does is flip the script of so many self-help business books by—rather than taking life lessons and applying them to business—taking the skills that successful people already have in business and applying them to marriage, parenting and one’s life at home.

I’m sure that Louis Upkins wishes he never had to write this book, that it wasn’t necessary. But, for too many of us men, it probably is. None of us want to be distant and aloof with our loved ones, but too many of us are. And, it’s not that it’s that bad… it’s that we shouldn’t settle for “not that bad.” As Upkins writes:

I run into a lot of … Good men. Successful men. Men who go to work every day to provide for their families and coach Little League teams and go to dance recitals. Men who seem to have their priorities straight and have invested heavily into their families. CEOs and construction workers. Lawyers and laborers. Engineers and educators. They may not share the same net worth or wear the same uniform at work, but they do have one thing in common … they feel as if they are drifting farther and farther away from the people who matter most to them, and they don’t like it. It’s not that they’re heading for divorce court or that their marriages are seriously troubled. As marriages go, theirs are not bad. But not bad is not good enough.

You read this blog, so I know you that you’re not accepting “not bad” at work. You’re trying to find new solutions, bigger and better ideas every day. Is the same true in your interests outside of work… even if it’s not marriage? Do you have any interests outside of work? Most likely you do, and most likely, even if it’s been buried deep down by professional considerations, you consider them (or it) the most important aspect of your life. It seems sad that we may have to turn to a customer service paradigm to improve the relationships with those closest to us, or to business lessons to really focus on what we’re passionate about, but it may be necessary, and if so, Louis Upkins can help.

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